i have a blog?

i'm not doing too well at this whole blog thing. i guess writing once a week is better than i've done in the past, though. i think i get too nervous about what to write, like for some reason it has to be some profound thought or really good insight, but it doesn't. my last post wasn't that at all. so i decided to get over myself, and just start typing, and whatever comes out is what will be posted! (well i may have to edit some, but you know...)

christmas was a couple of days ago, and i had the opportunity to spend a few days at my parents' house. i had a great time with my family. i really don't get to see them much when i'm in school. i usually make a trip home to do my laundry every couple of weeks, but that's it. even then, they're not always home. it was really fun to be able to spend an extended time at home. everytime i get the opportunity i realize how much i miss my brothers and my parents, and that's hard to believe knowing that i only live 15 minutes away--just on the other side of town, but that distance makes a huge difference in my relationships with them. i've learned within this past year, what it's going to be like the rest of my life--not living with your family. it takes a lot of work, just like friendships and other relationships take work. living at home with my parents and brothers, i took for granted all of the interactions and conversations with them. now, i have to be purposeful when i see them and spend time with them. i ask questions. i tell them i love them. i give countless hugs and kisses. i don't argue. i don't fight. i am more open with what's going on in my life because i know that if i don't tell them what's new, they won't know. i try and share Christs' love with them. i try to be light to them. sometimes it's easier said than done. i find myself to be very selfish, especially when it comes to the time i spend with them. as i've gotten older, there are many things that ask for my time, but my family seems to get the short end of the stick again and again. i often will make trips back home only when it's convenient for me, not ever thinking about what's best for them. there are times when i only stay for a little while, maybe only an hour or two, then i leave to go spend time with my friends. my family is very understanding. they just make jokes about how i must smell when dinner's ready, or that i must have run out of clothes to wear, or whatever else. the truth is that i am being selfish and using my family for what they can offer me. i don't ask about what i can do to help them out, or when a good time would be to have them over to my house for dinner. my actions are not really showing the Christ-likeness they should be. i need to make my family more of a priority in my life. this has been a struggle for a while now. even before i moved out, i was never really home to spend quality time with them. now i know that as kids get older it's normal to want to spend less and less time with their family, but i don't want to be like that. if i want to witness to my family...if i want them to see what it looks like to have a relationship with Christ and not a religion...if i want to truly be a tool that God uses to teach them the Truth of the gospel...then i need to give them the time it takes. why does something that is free, something that doesn't cost anything (well i guess everything does have an opportunity cost) have to be so hard to give?



okay, i've thought of another confession. don't let this one gross you out.
Confession #2 (or does it have to be #3? don't know??): i haven't used a q-tip to clean my ears in about two months. sounds disgusting i know! but ever since my aspiring-audiologist friends threatened to kill me if i ever used a q-tip to clean my ear again, i haven't. i dropped the habit cold-turkey. i have to admit that it was hard at first. it was just part of my routine: take a shower, comb my hair, clean my ears. everyday i did it. but not anymore. the audiologist friends told me that if i continued to use a q-tip, then i would most definitely need hearing aids soon after i become eligible to join the AARP, and i do not want that to happen. they then proceeded to inform me all about ears and earwax, and the proper way to clean them. i learned that our ears aren't meant to be cleaned by us. they are self cleaning. earwax drains out of the ear, and that's totally normal. you can wipe it away with a tissue, and no one will ever know that you don't use a q-tip, well, unless you confess it on your blog, then i guess anyone can know. they did tell me, however, if you do feel the need to use a cotton swab, then you need to put a little bit of vasiline on the tip and then clean just the very inside of the ear. that way, then tip will not push the wax back towards the ear drum, which is what they do. now i have not yet tried this technique. i don't really know how much it would really work because of the slimey goop on the end, but i guess if you're up for it then be my guest. since i have given up this routine, i do have one problem: what do i do with my pratically brand new box of q-tips sitting in my drawer?



okay...i think i'm done writing for now. think about giving up the q-tip addiction, okay? i promise it's not as gross as you think. and your future spouse and children will thank you for it someday when they don't have to scream at you. =)